Surviving the Holidays When Your Family Has Been Lost to The News: An Autism Parent’s Guide for The Holiday Season

The holidays are supposed to be joyful — a time for warmth, gratitude, and togetherness. But for many parents of children with autism, the holidays come with their own unique brand of stress.

Not just the sensory overload, disrupted routines, or forced hugs from Aunt Carol — but the conversations.

You know, the ones that start with,

“I saw something on Fox News about autism…”

We’re living in a time when even the dinner rolls come with a side of politics. And when your relatives have gone deep down the cable news rabbit hole, the holidays can feel less like a “Silent Night” and more like a “Loud Debate.”

So, let’s talk about how to navigate this — with humor, grace, and your sanity intact.

Autism Is Having a PR Moment

Autism is in the news more now than back when Jenny McCarthy thought she knew what was best for all of us. Every few months, there’s a new “miracle cure,” a new “cause,” or a new celebrity spokesperson who suddenly considers themselves an expert because they watched half a YouTube documentary.

This means your family might show up to Christmas dinner armed with “information” — articles shared by a friend of a friend who “used to work in healthcare,” or a segment they half-watched while reheating their leftover turkey.

So when Uncle Ron says, “I heard Tylenol causes autism,” take a deep breath. Smile. Remind yourself that you have access to actual medical professionals, and you are not required to take science advice from someone who once thought essential oils could cure the flu.

If you’re feeling generous, you can gently say:

“There’s no solid evidence linking Tylenol to autism, but thanks for your concern. Research is always evolving, and I stick with what my child’s doctor recommends.”

If you’re not feeling generous, you can simply say:

“Oh wow, interesting. Pass the mashed potatoes.”

Sometimes, the healthiest boundary is a well-timed carbohydrate.

You Don’t Owe Anyone an Explanation

Here’s the truth: you do not have to justify your parenting choices, your child’s diagnosis, your therapy decisions, or your stance on Leucovorin to anyone over the age of 18 who doesn’t pay your medical bills.

There will always be someone who’s “just asking questions” — which usually means they’re about to tell you what they read in an anti-vaccine Facebook group from 2014. You are under no obligation to educate them.

If Aunt Marlene corners you with, “Have you tried that vitamin protocol I saw on Tucker Carlson?” you can respond with:

“We’re working closely with our medical team and sticking with evidence-based supports. But thank you for caring.”

If she presses on, try:

“You know, the holidays are hard enough without me defending science at the dinner table.”

Or my personal favorite:

“I promised my therapist I wouldn’t get into biochemistry over gravy.”

Setting boundaries doesn’t have to be confrontational — it can be calm, polite, and just a little funny.

Your goal for the holidays isn’t to win debates. It’s to survive them.

It’s to make sure your child feels supported, comfortable, and included — not to convert Cousin Joe into understanding neurodiversity in one sitting.

So if you need to skip certain gatherings, leave early, or set clear expectations in advance (“We’ll stay for dinner, but we’ll head out before dessert”), do it. Your family’s peace of mind comes first.

If your child needs noise-canceling headphones, brings their tablet to dinner, or prefers to play alone — that’s okay. You don’t have to explain their behavior to anyone.

If someone says, “When I was a kid, we didn’t have special accommodations,” you can reply,

“Yeah, and that’s probably why so many of us are in therapy now.”

Arm Yourself with Humor and Exit Strategies

Sometimes, humor is the best armor. When faced with conspiracy-level nonsense, laughing it off might be your best option.

If someone says, “I heard they can reverse autism with diet,” you can say:

“Amazing! Maybe they can reverse my seasonal depression too.”

If someone insists on talking politics, you can always redirect with:

“I’m on a break from political talk this week — my blood pressure can’t handle it. How’s your fantasy football team doing?”

And if all else fails:

“Oops, my kid’s having a rough time — I better go help them.”

(Then head to a quiet room and give yourself a few minutes to breathe.)

Despite the chaos, there are still bright spots in the holidays — moments of connection, laughter, and genuine care. Most relatives mean well, even when their delivery makes you want to throw a snow globe.

Try to find small ways to make the season enjoyable for you and your child. Watch your favorite movies, create traditions that actually work for your family, and let go of the rest.

You don’t have to recreate the perfect Hallmark holiday. You just need to create a few warm moments that make you feel like you belong — even if that means eating pie in your pajamas while everyone else argues about the news.

Parenting a child with autism in this political climate can feel like walking through a minefield — one littered with misinformation, outdated beliefs, and unsolicited advice.

But you’re doing something incredibly hard and incredibly important: raising your child with love, advocacy, and humor in a world that doesn’t always make it easy.

So this year, let the relatives talk. Let them debate and share their “research.” You have bigger things to focus on — like your child’s joy, your own peace, and maybe a second helping of stuffing.

Because no matter what your family saw on TV last night, you’re the real expert here.

And remember — when all else fails:

“Oh, that’s interesting. I’m going to get some more pie.”

You deserve the pie.